My Co-Worker’s a Zombie: Surviving Office Life with the Undead

In every office, there’s always that one person who just doesn’t seem quite… alive. For me, it’s Jerry, the guy in accounting. Dead-eyed stare? Check. Shuffling steps? Check. Smelling like last week’s leftovers? Check. And while everyone else brushes it off as “Oh, he’s just tired,” I know the truth: Jerry’s a zombie.

Inspired by my latest song, “My Co-Worker’s a Zombie,” this blog post delves into the hilariously creepy world of suspecting that your office mate might actually be undead. Let’s face it, we’ve all had that “walking dead” feeling on a Monday morning, but Jerry? He takes it to a whole new level.

Spotting the Zombie Signs

It all started when I noticed that Jerry wasn’t just tired—he was something beyond that. His eyes never blink, and he stares at his computer screen as if he’s seeing the Windows screensaver for the first time… every day. His skin has gone from “needs more sleep” to “why does he look like a month-old loaf of bread?” And his lunch routine? Don’t get me started. Mysterious green goo leaks out of his sandwich, and it’s supposedly “pesto,” but I’m not convinced.

Here are some of the zombie signs I’ve spotted:

Dead-eyed Stare: There’s “tired,” and then there’s “I’ve lost my soul” tired. Jerry’s got the latter.
The Shuffler: He drags his feet, taking each step as if he’s haunted by some ancient curse… or a deep craving for brains.
Lunch Mystery: His “pesto” sandwich leaks neon green fluid, and his snack options are enough to make the break room smell like a haunted house.
Break Room Odor: Speaking of smells, Jerry’s got an aroma that’s one part coffee, two parts… well, graveyard.

These little clues started piling up, and before long, I knew I wasn’t just being paranoid—Jerry was, without a doubt, a zombie.

Surviving Your Zombie Co-Worker: A Guide

Now, dealing with a zombie in the office isn’t exactly part of the job description, but I’m prepared. If I’m right and Jerry’s the first wave of a zombie apocalypse, I’ll be ready when the office turns into ground zero. Here are some survival tips I’ve picked up:

Keep a Stapler Handy: A stapler may not stop a zombie, but it’ll sure give you a head start.
Trust Your Instincts: If they look dead behind the eyes, they probably are.
Stock Up on Snacks: Protein bars, water, and a bit of garlic powder (just in case the vampire rumor is true).
Survival Kit: I keep a Nerf bat under my desk—perfect for zombie defense without causing too much paperwork.

Why No One Believes Me

Here’s the funny thing: no one else seems to notice Jerry’s transformation. They brush off his zombie habits, chalking it up to stress, lack of sleep, or “just a weird lunch choice.” But I’ve seen the signs, and I’m convinced. He yawns like the living dead, shuffles like he’s hiding something, and even his tie is always suspiciously loose, like he’s barely holding himself together. If Jerry’s gonna feast, it won’t be on me.

Behind the Song: “My Co-Worker’s a Zombie”

The inspiration behind “My Co-Worker’s a Zombie” came from that universal office experience—feeling like everyone around you is half-alive, especially on Monday mornings. But what if they actually were undead? The song tells the story of an employee (me!) who realizes his co-worker might just be a zombie and takes it upon himself to stay prepared, just in case. With a mix of funk, humor, and a bit of Halloween flair, the track combines eerie, bass-heavy vibes with a dash of paranoia, making it perfect for anyone who’s ever suspected their co-workers of being just a little too “zombified.”

Listen to “My Co-Worker’s a Zombie” and Join the Groove

Whether you’re on your way to work or taking a lunch break, “My Co-Worker’s a Zombie” is a playful anthem that brings some undead energy to the mundane office grind. So, put on your headphones, turn up the volume, and get ready to keep an eye on your co-workers—especially that one guy in accounting. Just remember, if he starts reaching for your brains, you might want to reach for your stapler.